Gilligan’s Island is an American sitcom created and produced by Sherwood Schwartz and originally produced by United Artists Television.

The situation comedy series featured Bob Denver; Alan Hale, Jr.; Jim Backus; Natalie Schafer; Tina Louise; Russell Johnson; and Dawn Wells. It aired for three seasons on the CBS network from September 26, 1964, to September 4, 1967. Originally sponsored by Philip Morris & Company and Procter & Gamble, the show followed the comic adventures of seven castaways as they attempted to survive (and in a later movie escape from) the island on which they had been shipwrecked. Most episodes revolve around the dissimilar castaways’ conflicts and their failed attempts to return home. Gilligan’s Island ran for a total of 98 episodes. The first season, consisting of 36 episodes, was filmed in black-and-white. These episodes were later colorized for syndication. The show’s second and third seasons (62 episodes) and the three television movie sequels were filmed in color. The show enjoyed solid ratings during its original run, then grew in popularity during decades of syndication, especially in the 1970s and 1980s when many markets ran the show in the late afternoon after school. Today, the title character of Gilligan is widely recognized as an American cultural icon. 

During the 1966–1967 television season, Gilligan’s Island aired on Monday nights at 7:30 P.M.

Even though the sitcom’s ratings had fallen out of the top thirty programs, during the last few weeks of its third season, the series was still doing very well and more than holding its own against its chief competitor, The Monkees, which aired at the same time on NBC-TV. Therefore, CBS assured Sherwood Schwartz that Gilligan’s Island would definitely be picked up for a fourth year. However, under pressure from network president William S. Paley and his wife Babe, along with many network affiliates and longtime fans of Gunsmoke (which had been airing late on Saturday nights), to reverse its threatened cancellation, CBS rescheduled the Western to an earlier time slot on Monday evenings at 7:30 P.M. As a result, Gilligan’s Island was unceremoniously canceled at practically the last minute even though the cast members were all on vacation. Some of the cast had bought houses based on Sherwood Schwartz’s verbal confirmation that the series would be renewed for a fourth season.” Wikipedia

Gilligan's island

(The scene opens on The Professor pondering over his coconut radio. He tinkers with a few components, looking intently academic. Mary Anne enters)

Mary Anne: Whatcha doin, Professor?

Professor: (looking up from his radio) Oh, hi Mary Anne. Just working on my coconut radio. Gilligan broke it last time, but I think I have it just about fixed.

Mary Anne: We could just use our cell phones…

Professor: (laughing) Oh, Mary Anne. That is not the way of an academic! I´m on a quest for knowledge! Since the dawn of time man has wondered whether or not it was possible to make a radio from coconuts. And damn it, woman, it´s time someone answered that question!

Mary Anne: Oh, Professor, you´re so…so…noble! (gets close to him)

Professor: Yes. Yes I suppose I am. You know, I´m kind of a big deal.

Mary Anne: (seductively) Oh? And how big, exactly, of a deal are you?

Professor: Wouldn´t you like to find out?

Mary Anne: Oh, Professor, I bet you´re a HUGE deal.

(The Professor grabs her to kiss her (and have his way with her) and Gilligan walks in)

Gilligan: Hey guys!

Professor and Mary Anne: (sighing) Hi Gilligan

Gilligan: You guys haven´t seen the skipper around, have you?

Professor: No. Why don´t you go look for him? Someplace that´s not here?

Gilligan: I already tried that. I can´t find him anywhere.

Professor: (pushing him towards the door) Try harder, I know you can do it.

Gilligan: (twirls back around) How about you, Mary Anne? Have you seen the skipper?

Mary Anne: No, Gilligan. Now could you leave? The professor was about to…show me something. (she makes eye contact with the professor and giggles)

Gilligan: (seeing the radio) The coconut radio? You finally got it working? I wanna see! (he picks up the radio)

Professor: Gilligan, don´t touch that!

Gilligan: Why? What´s the worst that could (twirls around to look at the professor, and the radio flies out of his hands, smashing to the floor) happen…
Professor: My radio! Aaah! Get out! Get out! You good for nothing, bumbling, clumsy, oaf! Get out! (pushes Gilligan, apologizing, out the door)

Mary Anne: So, Professor…now that we´re (seductive voice) alone…

Professor: Yes…

Mary Anne: I believe you were going to show me something?

Professor: What was it I was going to show you?

Mary Anne: Your “big deal?”

Professor: Oh, of course, of course. Why don´t you come here and get it, my little sex pastry?

Mary Anne: Oh, Professor, I love it when you talk dirty to me!

(They begin kissing and make their way to the bed. The Professor is slowly easing Mary Anne downward when the Skipper barges in)

Skipper: Gilligan! Gilligan, where are you?!

Professor: Skipper! He was in here looking for you earlier.

Skipper: Looking for me? What in the blue–why was he looking for me? When I find him, I´ll kill him! I´LL KILL HIM!

Mary Anne: Skipper! Calm down! What´d he do?

Skipper: What´d he do? What´d he do? I´ll tell you what he did! I was down on the beach, see? And I guess I fell asleep…and when I woke up, do you know what Gilligan had done?

Professor: Covered you in sand?

Mary Anne: Put crabs down your shorts?

Skipper: I wish! When I woke up, my head, arms, and legs were all draped in (pulls out man-thongs) THESE!

Professor: What are—

Skipper: Thongs, professor. Man-thongs! Gilligan covered me in them! I feel dirty.

Mary Anne: What makes you think it was him?

Skipper: Who else? Who else would do this?

Mary Anne: Very true.

Professor: Well, he was just here a minute ago, Skipper. I bet you could catch him. Why don´t you get moving now?

Skipper: Yeah…yeah…that´s what I´ll do. He couldn´t have gotten far. I´ll kill him, that underpants prankster! (exits)

(The Professor peeks his head out the door to make sure the coast is clear)

Professor: Ok…all clear. Now let´s hurry, before someone else pops in.

(They go back to the bed and resume their activities)

Mr. Howell: (from offstage) *unintelligible screaming*

Mary Anne: (scared) What´s that?

Professor: What do you mean “what´s that?” That´s my pe—

Mary Anne: No, not that, you idiot. I meant that noise.

Professor: Oh…it´s probably nothing.

Mr. Howell: (offstage) Let´s sit right back and we´ll hear a taaaaaaaaale.

Mary Anne: That sounds like…Mr. Howell!

Professor: Don´t be silly, Mr. Howell´s been gone for months. The old bugger probably broke his hip and got eaten by jungle goats.

Mr. Howell: (offstage) If not for the courage of the fearless CREEEEEEW the minnow would be lost.

Mary Anne: Professor, I´m scared.

Professor: Nothing to be scared of, my sex pastry. I´m here to protect you. I´d never let anyone harm—

(Mr. Howell bursts into the room hooting and wailing. He is holding a knife high in the air, stabbing wildly)

Professor: –ME!!! (jumps up, leaving Mary Anne)

Mr. Howell: A millionaaaaaire and his KNIFE!!! A millionaaaaaire and his KNIFE!!! (repeats)

Mary Anne: Oh my god! Help me! Help me!

Professor: Help yourself! (tries to run past Mr. Howell, but the old man blocks the way. He tries to go around the other way, and Mr. Howell moves again. Mr. Howell lunges for him, and the Professor dodges. A comical chase scene around the hut ensues)

Gilligan: (off stage) Guys, you gotta help me, I think the skipper´s gonna–(enters room) HOLY SHIT!

Mr. Howell: I am gonna kill them all, here on Gilligan´s IIIIIISLE.

Professor: Gilligan! Help us!

(Mr. Howell turns and lunges at Gilligan. Gilligan dodges and moves toward Professor and Mary Anne. All three are corners)

Mr. Howell: The professor and Mary Anne both are going to diiiiie! (raises his knife, and all three scream.)

Skipper: (offstage) Gilligan! Where are you? I can hear you! I´m gonna–(enters) JESUS CHRIST!

Mr. Howell: (turns to Skipper) THE MATE WAS A MIGHTY SAILOR AND THE SKIPPER MUST BE STABBED

Skipper: Oh no you don´t. (punches Mr. Howell in the face, and the old man collapses. The Professor, Mary Anne, and Gilligan all go “oooow”)

Mary Anne: Skipper! You saved us!

Skipper: Big deal, the guy´s like 80 years old. A stiff breeze could have blown him over.

Professor: (regaining his composure) Nonsense, skipper! You´re a hero!

Gilligan: Yeah! You took out that knife-wielding maniac like he was nothing! (pauses, as if thinking) You know, we should probably take away his knife before he wakes up.

Mary Anne: Gilligan! That´s the smartest thing you´ve said all…ever!

Gilligan: Aaw, shucks, it was nothing.

Skipper: Gilligan, I still have a bone to pick with you.

Gilligan: Uh oh…

Skipper: (pulls out man-thongs) What are these?

Gilligan: Man-thongs, sir.

Skipper: And why were they on me down at the beach?

Gilligan: Skipper, you can wear whatever kind of underwea—

Skipper: Don´t play dumb with me, you put them there!

Gilligan: I´m not playing, I´m genuinely dumb!

Skipper: (pushing Gilligan out the door) We´re taking this outside, you little runt. (turns to Professor and Mary Anne) Now, if you two will excuse me, I have some unfinished business. (exits)

Professor: (smiling) I believe we have some unfinished business too, sex pastry?

Mary Anne: (disgusted) After you were ready to leave me with to that maniac? (points to Mr. Howell, still lying on the floor) You´re a coward, Professor. I need a man who´s more heroic. Like the Skipper!

Professor: The skipper?

Mary Anne: Yeah. HE wouldn´t have left me. Goodbye, Professor. Maybe if you´re lucky Mr. Howell will wake up and you can show HIM how “big of a deal” you are. (exits)

(The professor sits down on his bed, sighs, and puts his face in his hands. Then he looks at Mr. Howell, as if considering. He smiles)

Professor: Hello, my little sex pastry…

THE END